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I think I have finally met the man of my dreams. He is
tall, good looking and has a great job. Not to mention, he loves to wear
great smelling aftershave. I love a man who wears aftershave, it smells
so clean and fresh. A good smelling man brings a smile to my face every
time.
My boyfriend's name is Bob. He is thirty three years old,
while I just turned thirty years old. I don't mind the fact that he is
three years older than me. I have always liked older men. Usually older
than Bob, but I think Bob is the man for me.
I cooked all day long. All fucking day long. You see, Bob's
parents were coming over to my place for supper. Bob wanted me to meet
his mom and dad. I said that I would love to meet them and suggested that
they come over to my house for supper. I don't know if that was such a
good idea. I had to spend all day long cooking. I made every damn thing
from scratch. Even the pasta that we ate!
Bob's family is Italian, so I made Italian food. These
are the type of Italians who don't eat any other kind of food. I don't
know if they are foreigners or not, but I know they love their Italian
food. Bob does too, but he likes other stuff too. Bob says that nothing
I cook tastes bad. I don't know if he is being nice or what. I do cook
a lot of different stuff for him. He seems to like the stuff that I cook
for him.
This is what actually took place.
Bob and his parents come over. Supper was just about finished,
so I wasn't too worried. I am the type of woman who worries about how
people will accept her. I know that some parents can be picky. The last
thing I need to do is piss off his parents. "Sure
smells good in here." Bob's dad said.
"Thanks, the food will be done any minute now."
I said.
I went into the kitchen and I brought out the meal. I won't
bore you with all of the details. We had pasta, grilled fish, and some
side dishes. I don't cook Italian food too often, but I got these recipes
online. I never knew there are so many Italian cooking sites on the Internet.
"This sauce is good." Bob's mom said as she ate
her pasta.
"Thank you." I replied politely.
"Why don't you cook like this for me?" Bob's
dad asked.
"I knew you would say that." She said to Bob.
Everyone finished their pasta and I brought out the grilled
fish. I grilled two whole fish, but I took off the heads. I can't stand
looking at a fish head while I am eating. I don't know how people can
eat when their food is looking at them!
"Damn, this fish is better than the pasta!" Bob's
dad said as he ate the fish.
"Bob, I demand that you marry this woman right away!"
Bob's dad said with a mouthful of fish.
I can tell that Bob must get his character from his mom.
Don't get me wrong, Bob's dad seems like a nice guy, but he speaks up
more than Bob does.
"It's a good thing that I am married, or I would ask
you to marry me." Bob's dad said to me.
"Oh, that is so nice of you to say." I said while
laughing.
I didn't know what the fuck to say. What was I suppose
to say.
"Trust me Dan, she wouldn't want anything to do with
you." Bob's mom said laughing.
"Why do you say that?" Bob's dad said while eating.
"Most women don't want to wait a half hour to an hour
for Viagra to kick in. When they want sex, they want sex. Not some limp
noodle that functions when you are out of the mood." Bob's mom said
laughing.
"Come on Ethel, let's not talk about that stuff while
we're eating!" Bob's dad said as his face got red.
"Do you guys like cherry pie?" I asked as we
finished our meal.
"Do I like cherry pie? It's been so long since I had
any pie, I wouldn't know." Bob's dad said while laughing.
"Honey, this is what you have to look forward to when
you get old. Your man will be horny, but his penis will stop working.
Look at Dan for example, he is all talk and no bite." Bob's mom said
as she handed me her plate. "Why
are you talking about that stuff now?" Bob's dad said embarrassed.
"It seems that every five minutes you either talk
about how I don't cook for you or I don't put out.
Look at that gut on you. You aren't missing any meals.
Now if they could figure out a way to put Viagra in Twinkies, maybe you
would be able to get it up." Bob's mom said.
I ran into the kitchen with the plates and I busted out
laughing. I couldn't laugh about this in front of Bob's dad.
He has such a funny family. I'd love to be his wife, just
so I could get some laughs. It's just like something from television.
He is the horny old guy and she is the wise cracking old lady.
After we ate the pie, we drank coffee. I always like to
offer my guests a cup of coffee after the meal. Some people drink it,
some people don't. I like a cup of coffee after a meal. Especially if
there is a sweet desert. We drank the coffee and talked for awhile.
Bob's dad told me that he was a retired truck driver. He said that he
drove semi trucks for almost 30 years. I think I would get sick and tired
of driving after doing it for that many years.
He said that he loved every day of it. I guess it's good
that he was able to find a job that he liked. By the way he and his wife
bitched at each other, maybe he drove truck to get away from her. That
would certainly make sense to me.
I'm not saying she was bitchy. I thought she was kind of
cute. I loved how she always had a come back to what he said. I knew what
she was saying was true, that made it even more funny.
After Bob's parents left, poured us each a glass of wine
and we sat down on the couch. I got some new French wine from the wine
shop. I asked the guy who worked there what was the best wine for a special
night. He then started to ask me all of these questions. Was I going to
eat anything while I drank the wine, was I looking for something that
was aged. How the fuck should I know? I usually get Californian wine when
I'm at the store. I just wanted something special that tasted good. Something
that would make the evening seem even more special for us.
I sat down next to Bob and handed him a glass of wine.
"What kind of wine is this?" Bob asked after
he took a sip.
"Some French stuff. I asked the guy at the wine store
to suggest a good wine for tonight." I told Bob.
"The guy sure knew what he was talking about. This
is really good wine." Bob said right before he took another sip.
I took a sip and I agreed with him. Even though the guy
was a pain in the ass, he did suggest a good bottle of wine. Sometimes
when I find a good wine, I save the label off of the bottle. That way
I can remember the name so I can get it again. This was certainly one
of those wines that I would want to buy again. 
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A Birthday to Remember
After having a little party
with her friends and family, she planned a little action.
She wanted to have sex with a well hung escort. This
is one birthday party that you won't forget for a long
time!
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Back Seat Fun
A woman meets a long lost
friend. He admits that he used to have feelings for
her. They pick up something to eat and end up fucking
in the back seat of his car.
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Blow Job While Driving
Steve says that he is horny
while they are driving down the road. She asks if he
has ever received a blow job while driving. She sucks
his dick while driving down the road!
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A Strange Day
A lady gets her purse stolen
by a man and a police officer catches him. Not only
does she tell him a thing or two, but she lets him have
it. She goes shopping and fucks herself with a cucumber.
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