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Summer had come close to it's end, which meant that I wouldn't
be able to sit outside on my porch any more. I love to sit on the porch
after a long day of work. I like to sit on the porch and smoke cigarettes
and look at what the world is up to. I don't pay attention to the neighborhood
during the rest of the year, I'm not much of an outdoors person when the
weather gets cold. I have bad sinuses and they drip like a mother fucker
when it's cold outside. Not only that, but the cold air makes me cough
if I smoke out in it.
I've gotten to know all of the new people and their kids
on the block. I don't know them, but I have watched them all summer long.
I'm too shy to talk to anyone, I feel like I'm worth less than a pile
of horse shit. I've always felt this way, but it has gotten worse after
my divorce. These days I just can't get this lump out of my throat or
the load of bricks off of my shoulders. I try to shake all of the bad
feelings I have, but it doesn't work. The only thing that happens is another
day goes by and I'm that much older. I don't mean to sound too depressing,
it's just how I feel about things. I'm not really depressed, after all,
this is the best time of year. The summer time is when we all feel young
again, no matter if you are so old you have one foot in the grave.
Every night after I eat my supper I sit on the porch and
watch what everyone else is doing. Sometimes I bring the paper out and
read it, or listen to the radio. It depends on what's going on around
here, some days are busier than others. I met this guy who walks along
my sidewalk every day when he get's off work. He is an older guy, but
I'm no spring chicken myself. He came up on my porch and was talking to
me one day, though I never met him before. He always wears faded blue
jeans and a dress shirt that looks like someone ran over it with a car.
There are so many black stains on it, you would swear that the man was
half cow. He used to walk by and say hi, but now he stops and we talk
for awhile. His name's Jim and he likes to drink scotch with a dash of
water in it. I went to the store and bought a bottle of scotch so I could
offer him something to drink when he stops by each day. Every week day
he walks by at exactly 6:20 on the dot. I could set my clock by that and
not be a minute off. That is how long it takes him to walk to my place
from his job. Usually I get him a glass of scotch and I put some water
in it for him. We sit on the porch and talk about all the things that's
going on. Jim doesn't live in my neighborhood, he lives about two blocks
down from here. He lives right across the street from where the old warehouse
used to be. A few years ago they knocked it down and turned it into a
parking lot. I
finished my supper and sat on my porch and smoked a cigarette. I knew
that Jim wouldn't be over for another twenty minutes, so I had time to
smoke a cigarette before he came over. I have been smoking the long cigarettes,
they said one hundreds on the pack. I've never smoked these long cigarettes
before, but I'm not sure that there is any more tobacco in them than the
normal ones. I've debated with myself on this subject, sometimes I come
to the conclusion that they just put a longer filter on the cigarettes.
They are longer, only because the filter is longer. I don't know about
that, Jim doesn't either. Jim, he smokes the cigarettes without the filters
on them. Usually he smokes Pall Malls but when he doesn't have the money,
he buys the cheap generic cigarettes they sell at the gas stations. Jim
says that the filters take away the best part of the smoke. I asked him
if he meant the part that kills you faster, but Jim just shook his head.
My Dad smoked those things, not Pall Malls, but cigarettes without the
filters on them. He died at fifty six, I think because of the unfiltered
cigarettes, but I'm no doctor. I don't know that smoking cigarettes with
the filters on them will make me live any longer, but I try to tell myself
they will. I think the nonfilter cigarettes are too strong, they make
me cough. You should hear Jim cough sometimes after he lights a cigarette.
Some times he coughs so hard, he almost throws up.
I looked down at my watch and I realized that it was only
five minutes until Jim would be over. I ran inside the house and mixed
him up a scotch and water and I got myself a rum and Coke. I like having
an evening drink, I think it is good for the nerves. Not only that, but
I like to have a drink when I'm around someone who is drinking. I think
it makes the conversation go more smoothly. I mixed his drink and I ran
out to the porch. I looked down at my watch and saw that I only had one
minute to go. I mixed myself a drink that was a little stronger than what
I normally would have, I was feeling kind of depressed about how the summer
was about to be over. Soon I would have to go inside and live the life
of a shut in. I haven't thought about what will happen with me and Jim,
though I don't know if there is much between us. I love his company and
he is a nice guy. But, I just don't know what will happen. I guess he
could come in and we could have a drink inside, but that will be up to
him.
I got up out of my chair and I saw that Jim was walking
down the street. He was about a half a block away, but I knew that he
would make it to my porch at the same time he always does. I looked at
him, but he didn't notice me looking. His head had stuble on it, like
he hadn't shaved it in a few days. Jim is bald and ashamed that he is
bald. He thinks that no one can tell that he is bald if he shaves his
head. I haven't told him, but I can tell when his hair starts to grow
back. It doesn't even have to grow back, just a five o'clock shadow on
his head tells me that he is bald on top. Not that I care, I could care
less how much hair he has. My exhusband was bald on the top, but combed
a few strands of hair over the bald area. Like Jim, he felt that he could
hide the fact that he was bald on top. He couldn't, but neither can Jim,
no matter how much he thinks to the contrary.
"How are you doing?" Jim asked as he walked up
my porch steps.
"Not bad. You?" I asked as I watched his man
boobs bounce as he walked.
"You know how work is, it wouldn't be called work
if it was fun." Jim said as he sat down in the lawn chair next to
me.
I looked over at Jim and tried not to look like I was staring
at his head. For the life of me I can't figure out how he can think people
can't tell that he's bald. We've really never talked about it much, but
he told me that he wasn't really bald. I'm not sure what he meant by really
bald, but he was about as bald as they come. Jim looked tired, the wrinkles
in his face made him look even more tired. He picked up the glass with
the booze in it and took a long sip. He then lit a cigarette and blew
the smoke out of his nostrils. "Summer
is just about over," I said, trying to start a conversation.
"It sure is, soon we'll be shoveling snow," Jim
said as he blew smoke while he talked.
Every now and then Jim would get some tobacco on his lips
while smoking. My dad did the same thing when he smoked, Jim always reminds
me of him. I remember being a kid and thinking of my dad as a dinosaur
with the brown leafy tobacco stuck to his lip. I don't know why I thought
that, but I thought of that until I was in my teenage years. Until I started
smoking, that's when I stopped thinking about it. I have no idea what
my smoking had to do with me not thinking about it, but that's when it
stopped.
"It smells good inside your house," Jim said
as he pointed his nose to my screen door.
"I cooked up some fried chicken and fried potatoes,"
I said as I flicked the ashes off of my cigarette.
"Sounds good, I'm fucking hungry," Jim said as
he took a drink of his scotch and water.
"You want me to make you a plate? I've got plenty
left," I said as I looked over at him.
Jim looked tired, like someone who has health problems.
I keep wanting to tell him that he is too old to be working the job he
does. He's a janitor, he busts his ass off all day long cleaning. I keep
telling myself that it's not my job to say these kinds of things to him.
It would be if we were seeing each other or living together, but even
then I wouldn't dare say anything to him about it. You know how men are,
it will be another ten years before he realizes that he's an old man who
can't keep up with the young crowd.
"No need to get up on my account," Jim said as
he stomped out his cigarette in my ashtray.
"It's not a problem, I'll go get you a plate right
now," I said getting up.
I went into the kitchen and touched the chicken to make
sure that it was still was hot. It wasn't hot, but warm enough that it
wasn't cold. I put two chicken legs on a plate and filled the rest of
the plate with fried potatoes. That's all I fixed, I didn't feel like
cooking much. I actually thought about going to one of those drive thrus
to get something, but I wasn't in the mood for a hamburger. I mixed myself
another drink and I got Jim a beer. I don't feed him often, but I know
that he likes beer with his food. We probably drink too much, but it's
only a couple drinks a night. I don't know how much Jim drinks when he
goes home, but I never have more than two or three drinks.
I walked out to the porch and handed him the cold beer
and the food. Jim thanked me and didn't waste one minute putting the chicken
leg up to his mouth. Jim would take turns taking a sip from the scotch
and then one from the beer. I'm not much of a beer person, I'll have one
every now and then to clean out my kidneys. I keep some on hand in case
Jim wants one, he usually does if I give him something to eat. Jim ate
so fast, he looked like one of those starving third world kids that you
see on television. I don't think Jim can cook, well, maybe he can cook
pasta and soup that comes in a can. Jim says that he doesn't like to eat,
that's why he can't cook very much. I don't think he ate the chicken and
fried potatoes like a man who doesn't like to eat. For a man who doesn't
eat much, he sure has a chunky body. He has tits so big, that he could
wear a training bra. Maybe that isn't really that big, but he does have
tits.
Jim finished the food quicker than I could finish my drink,
which is saying a lot. Jim put the plate on the little table that I keep
outside for us to put our drinks and the ashtray on. Half of the plate
was off of the table, but I didn't mind. It was a plastic plate that wouldn't
be able to break if it fell on the porch. I don't use good China or glass
plates, I'll leave all that stuff for the rich folks. Me, I just like
to use plastic plates because they don't break. I raised two kids, so
I know a thing or two about stuff like this that breaks. I learned early
on, stay with plastic or someone will get a bad cut. My son ran through
the house one time and broke a drinking glass when he fell on it. I had
to take him to the hospital so they could dig it out of his skin. After
that, I went to the store and bought all plastic stuff, that way I wouldn't
have to sit at the hospital again and watch a doctor dig glass out of
my kids. 
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A Birthday to Remember
After having a little party
with her friends and family, she planned a little action.
She wanted to have sex with a well hung escort. This
is one birthday party that you won't forget for a long
time!
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Back Seat Fun
A woman meets a long lost
friend. He admits that he used to have feelings for
her. They pick up something to eat and end up fucking
in the back seat of his car.
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Blow Job While Driving
Steve says that he is horny
while they are driving down the road. She asks if he
has ever received a blow job while driving. She sucks
his dick while driving down the road!
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A Strange Day
A lady gets her purse stolen
by a man and a police officer catches him. Not only
does she tell him a thing or two, but she lets him have
it. She goes shopping and fucks herself with a cucumber.
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