This is an actual letter that I wrote. My boyfriend of two years left me. We were living together and one day he decided that he would rather live without me. This was a letter that I wrote to Mark.

Dear Mark,

I'm not sure where to start this. I'm not sure if I should even be writing you. I know that you said that you never wanted to hear from me again. I know that I should respect your wishes, but I feel the need to talk to you. I know by writing this to you, I am acting in a selfish manner, but I don't know what else to do. Sometimes we have to act out out feelings, regardless of how hard it might be. At least that is what you said the day that you left me.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time. I would love to be back to when we first met. I have to say, that was probably the best time of my life. I felt so carefree and so alive. It is strange how falling in love changes how you feel. Love is almost like a drug, when you no longer have it, all you do is crave it.

I remember the first time we met. I thought you and your little cousin was so cute. I remember watching you throwing a baseball with him at the park. The little guy couldn't catch the ball, but you still made him laugh. Most kids would have gotten frustrated at not being able to catch the ball.

It is strange that both of our families were having a cook out on the same day. Most people think that we are crazy for having cook outs for our birthdays. I'm glad we started the tradition, because if we hadn't, I would have never met you. I also feel lucky that your family was having a family reunion on that day. Two events that were so unrelated, became related.

One look in into your eyes and something clicked in me. I told myself that I had to ask you out on a date. I don't regret asking you out on the date. The only regret that I have is, that we didn't meet sooner. I could have used a good friend like you earlier on in my life. Especially when things weren't so good. Like around the time my grandpa died. I could have used a good friend like you to help me through those tough times.

I have been thinking a lot about you lately. I hope you have been thinking about me too. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the look on your face when you wake up in the morning. You even look happy in the morning. I have never met another person who loved to live as much as you do. I hope that I can learn a few lessons from you.

I also have been thinking about our first date. Actually, it probably wasn't much of a first date for you. I felt like I couldn't shut up. I just wanted to keep talking all night long. The only reason why I wouldn't shut up was, I wanted the date to go on forever. I didn't want it to end. I found you so exciting and funny, I just had to hear what was going to come out of your mouth next.

I have never sat in a restaurant until four in the morning before. But, I don't regret one minute that we spent together on that night. That night I knew that I would fall in love with you. I knew because I could see the type of man that you are. You don't hold back and you certainly allow your feelings to show.

I know that I am a prude. You don't have to tell me that. I like to have a man work his way into my pants. The last thing that I want to be known as, is a slut. I take my reputation serious and I also take my health serious. There are too many diseases out there just to have casual sex all the time.

I will never forget our first kiss. I loved how we over looked the ocean at night. I often sit and cry thinking about that night. I try to move on with my thoughts, but I can't. They all seem to drift back to that night.

The wind was calm, but it was still a little chilly outside. I was hugging onto you because I was cold. I will admit, I was also doing it because I liked being next to you. I never thought that you would try to kiss me. But, it was the most pleasant surprise of my life. I thought my legs were going to give out when you first kissed me. I can still smell your cologne on that night. The smell of your cologne and the smell of the ocean is forever in my mind.

I wonder if you miss me. Do you miss my cooking? Do you miss my kisses? Do you miss it when I used to tell you how much I loved you? I don't know what to make out of all of this. Though, in some way, I hope you do miss me. If you do, it will help validate my feelings. If you don't, then I would feel like I was missing something. Maybe I didn't understand what our relationship was all about.

I hope that you aren't hurting much. I know it will sound crazy, but I hope you are hurting over me. Even just a little would make me feel better. I hope you are able to go on with your life. Though, I'm not sure that I will ever be able to. I wish I could explain to you how I am feeling. I wish I could explain it to myself. I hope you aren't feeling like I am feeling. If that makes any sense. I want you to be able to live a good life. You deserve a good life. I know that you will find a good life out there. In my heart, I wish that I could be a part of it.

I am sorry for all of the ramblings. You probably can't make much sense out of it all. I know that deep in my heart, I want what is best for you. No matter how much that hurts me. I have never felt pain like this before. I hope that I will never feel pain like this again. I have never known what real sorrow is, until now.

I remember the first time we had sex. I have to tell you this, though you might think I am just saying this to get on your good side. It was the best sex I ever had. Not just the first time, but every time. Every time we had sex, it was better than any other man I had been with. The things you did to me were wonderful. Even though I have been with other men who did the exact same things. You did them differently, you did them with love.

The first time we had sex was just as beautiful as the first time we kissed. I remember being surprised that you cooked us a picnic dinner. I didn't even know you could cook. I have never known a man that could cook like you. I will probably never know another.

When we ate on the beach, I felt good inside. That is when I knew that I wanted to have sex with you. I might have even been too forceful. Maybe you weren't expecting to have sex. After a few glasses of wine, the only thing I could think about was sucking your cock. I know that sounds dirty, but I felt dirty. In a good way.

I have never gave a guy a blow job and seen him go crazy like you did. I was actually afraid that you would cum too soon. The only reason why I cared was, I wanted you to cum inside me. I felt that would make our relationship whole. Believe me, it did. I enjoyed every inch of your hard cock that night. So much so, that I masturbated twice when I came home thinking about what we did.

I loved how you kissed my breasts. I love how you spent a long time sucking on my nipples. Most men don't understand how much a woman loves to have her nipples sucked. You certainly did. Would it be wrong of me to say that I miss having sex with you? Because I do. I don't miss it in a slutty pornographic kind of way. I miss the making love part. That is what I miss.

I felt like when we had sex, we were actually making love. Not just steamy sex so each of us could cum. But, we did have plenty of nights like that. But even during those nights, I felt like we were making love. Maybe I was just reading more into it than I should have been. I don't know.

I know that the day you left me, I was being a bitch. I even told you that I was. But, I felt that I had good reason to. But now, I just want you back so fucking bad. Even if everything in my life was going sour, I shouldn't have treated you that way. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't have said the things that I said. Yes I was upset and very stressed out, but not to the point where I should have said those things. I don't want to repeat the things that I said. We both know how hurtful they were.

We were together for about two years and we have been apart for almost a month now. It feels like we have been apart longer than we were together. I guess that in the end, I will have to hold on to the memories. Mark, those memories are the only things that enable me to go on from day to day. If it weren't for those, I don't think that I could live my life.

I hope that you are doing good. I hope that you find yourself a new love. Even though that makes me cry. I know you deserve a good woman. Such a good man like you, deserves a good woman.

Take care Mark. I will always love you and will always think of you. You were the one thing in my life that made life worth living.

I love you Mark,

Debbie

That is the letter I wrote for Mark. I was licking the envelope when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't going to answer it because I was only wearing sweat pants and a tank top. Not something I would want the public to see me wearing. I didn't give a fuck what I looked like, because I knew that I would be crying all day after writing the letter.

The knocking continued. For some reason it really pissed me off. I thought they would go away. But, they didn't. Not only did they not go away, but they kept knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" I yelled in an angry voice.

"It's me Mark." A voice said through the door.

I didn't need to look at his face, I knew it was my Mark. How strange was it that as soon as I finished writing the letter, he was at my door? It was almost too weird for me.

I opened the door and I seen him standing there. Mark looked like he lost at least twenty pounds. He needed a haircut and it looked like he hadn't shaven for the entire month that he was gone.

"Come inside Mark." I said as I motioned him to come inside.

Mark looked as bad as I felt. I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked him over. I kept looking at him not knowing what to say.

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